


A Decade Under The Influence

by rustingdove



Category: Fall Out Boy, Mindless Self Indulgence (Band), My Chemical Romance, The Used
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mild Smut, Multi, Protective Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-11-02 07:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20666531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rustingdove/pseuds/rustingdove
Summary: Gerard's got a lot of problems he simply must work through. He could either perish at his own hands, or pull through from someone else's.





	A Decade Under The Influence

Gerard sat cross legged on his bed, staring back at Mikey wide eyed, not believing what he was hearing, "Oh- Oh my god- You didn't- You did not tell her, you did fucking not."  
His eyes were studying his brother closely, watching for any off movement that could imply that he was lying to him, as some sort of sick joke.  
Mikey looked down at the floor, now feeling the wave of regret he predicted he would.  
"You did then, didn't you?! Did you?"  
Gerard began to wave his hands around frantically, stuttering over all his words.  
"You're taking the piss, I know you are, you are, aren't you- Say you're taking the piss."

Mikey shook his head, swallowing, knowing for sure he was in very deep shit with Gerard now. "I'm not joking, Gee. I did it."  
Gerard just stared at him, mouth hanging open, trying to piece together a reply in his mind.

"And you- you didn't even think to ASK me if this was okay!? You didn't think to maybe just fucking speak to me instead?"

"Because you would have refused help! You need help, serious help, just because you wanna- You wanna lay down in this absolute tip that you call a room, and- and wallow in your own misery- Doesn't mean that I'm gonna just sit here, and let you completely destroy yourself like this!"  
Gerard began to laugh a little, still in disbelief, and feeling utterly crushed. "You're kidding, you are. You gotta be, you gotta be, because last time I checked, yeah, last time I checked, I'm not the only one with a problem here Mikey! And now I'm going to be sectioned again!"  
He swallowed as Gerard screamed at him, although knowing what he did was right, still feeling like he'd done something unforgivable in Gerard's eyes.   
"I'm not talking to you when you're like this, Gerard."   
"Then get the fuck out, NOW!"  
and he hurled a glass at Mikey while he walked out the door, luckily missing and wincing when he heard it smash against the floor, beginning to break down in tears.

Gerard's sobs were just getting louder, shouting something that Mikey couldn't quite make out. The last time this happened, he wasn't on the receiving end. The last time this happened, it was someone else's burden to carry. The last time this happened, a bunch of other people were the lucky ones to experience Gerard's (rather pathetic) "wrath". There were a few people involved, and this was when they were all around 16 to 20, apart from Mikey who was actually around 13, almost 14 at the time. That was only about a year and a half ago. Now Mikey was 15 almost 16, and Gerard and said people were about 17 to 22.   
That time, a bunch of people had staged an intervention, obviously not getting Mikey or his friend Pete involved, because again, two 13 year old boys. They didn't understand the weight of the situation, so they weren't the best people to have around when staging a huge intervention for a hugely messed up dude with more problems than hairs on his head. These bunch of people were:  
Gerard's closest friends; Bert Mccracken, Frank Iero, Ray Toro, and Lindsey Way.  
A few other people were involved too; Jimmy Euringer, Jennifer Dunn, Jepha Howard, and Steve Montano.   
It was a huge thing. He remembers the whole situation and pretty much all the details so, so vividly, and how, for the first time, he was utterly terrified for his brother, and of him, too. 

Gerard was sent to a mental hospital for a month and 2 weeks, and when he came back he wasn't anywhere near the same for at least 3 months after. Even before Gerard had left, he wasn't looking too hot, his hair had grown out a little, just above his jaw, and it was quite a murky brown for at least an inch and a half at the roots, and he'd lost a little weight, but not too much. Then he left to that stupid hospital place, and after he came back, every time Mikey would see Gerard, which was not a lot at all, seeing as he spent almost all his time in his bedroom, only coming out for three things,   
1\. To go to the kitchen to get food and water,   
2\. To go to the bathroom  
3\. To go on walks at god knows what time in the morning or night  
(and those were all pretty rare, too)  
Mikey would barely recognize him. Gerard before all this became a huge problem, had a little bit of weight on him, and this fluffy, short dyed black hair, that he'd spike up most of the time. It looked ridiculous, but it was his brother. The clothes he wore would fit him perfectly, they were never baggy, he looked healthy and although he had his off days then too, he never had them completely take over. Whatever happened in that hospital, it seemed to make Gerard look and feel ten times worse. He'd lost much more weight, his legs were so skinny, you could even tell through the ugly-as-sin pajama pants Gerard never took off, when he walked the majority of the fabric would wave behind him. His fingers had become incredibly slender, making the 13 year old Mikey wince every time said fingers would wrap around a coffee mug. It sounds stupid now, really stupid, but Mikey used to get scared that they might actually snap off. He looked so frail, and every time he'd stand in the kitchen, the hunch in his back would look so very prominent, even through the thick hoodie he would wear to try and keep himself warm, as his body obviously wasn't doing it for him. His hair had grown past his jaw, in desperate need of a re-dye and for the love of God, a wash. Mikey saw his older brother, his best friend, his idol, the guy who tried his best to never hurt anyone's feelings, the boy who used to read him comics instead of bedtime stories, deteriorate right in front of him. It was really hard to watch, not understanding what the hell was going on and not being able to help, he wasn't sure what was worse.  
He knows that Gerard was absolutely fuming at the people who had essentially put him in there, and thinking back, Mikey completely understood why;  
"I mean, I would be annoyed too if I was held against my will in some wacky house- Oh wait- Ah, fuck-"

Mikey realized the full weight of what he'd done. He was sending Gerard back to the place that actually made him worse.   
He'd just made a huge, HUGE, mistake, in his mind.

Gerard was still quite loud with his sobbing, but not as loud, although there wasn't really a difference. He was still hearing his brother breaking the fuck down over something he had done, whether it was coming from a place of love or not, which it was, it still felt unbelievably shitty.  
Mikey actually considered calling someone over, pulling out his phone, flipping it open, and going through the people in his contacts.

"Jimmy? NO.  
Bert? NO.  
Adam? NO.  
Jesus, since when was everyone on my phone like, useless...  
Frank. Ah-ha, he'll know what to do, hopefully."

Mikey stood up, groaning louder than he meant to,  
"Oh, fuck-"  
He cursed, creeping away with his phone, Gerard's wailing getting quieter as he scuffled away.  
He leaned against the wall in the hallway, sighing and texting Frank hurriedly.

"we hav a gerd problem."

"Wat??"

"U need 2 call me RIGHT now."

And soon enough, Mikey heard that absolutely awful Nokia ringtone he constantly forgets to change, that god-damn piano tone would sneak up and kill him one day, he was convinced.

"Hello? Frank?"

There was some slight fuzziness and break up, before he heard a 'Hey, Mikes." back.

"Uhm- Yeah, I think we're gonna have another Gerard problem.."

Frank sighed, wondering which "Gerard problem" it was going to be, has he gone missing? Has he done something stupid and ended up in the hospital? Is he refusing to eat? Has he not showered in weeks? Is he throwing up? On purpose or has he caught some sort of terminal illness? Lost some pencils or paints, and is now having a complete mental breakdown? Died temporarily and is now claiming to have a very serious and intimate relationship with God himself? Stubbed his toe, perhaps?

Frank managed to sum all that up in a sentence, "What's happened now?"

"I might've, maybe, kinda, uhh..." Mikey began to bite his nails, uhming and ah-ing over a ton of his words, just like his brother. "Well, I kinda staged my own intervention, and he's probably gonna get sectioned again."

"Oh... Uh, who did you tell?"

"I told Donna... Uhm, she told a hospital, and he's probably getting sectioned again, so."

Frank furrowed his brows, confused, as this was kind of a good thing, wasn't it? Like, sure, Gerard came back in an absolutely awful state last time, but as long as Gerard doesn't die, it's a good thing, because if he's just left alone in the state he's in this time, he's gonna kill himself, Frank's convinced.

"So... Why is this a problem? Like it's bad, yeah, but-"

"He is majorly off at me, big time. He threw a glass at me 15 minutes ago, and he's still sobbing like no tomorrow."

"Oh, wonderful-"

"He is going to unleash all hell out on me again if you don't get here like, now, Frank."

"Okay, I'll be there in like, ten minutes, but real quick, I just wanna say I'm real proud of you for doing this. It was hard as hell for like, what? At least 7 of us, and we were older than you. I'm real proud, and I'm sure when Gerard gets out of this rut, he'll thank you."

Mikey teared up a little, sniffing.   
"Thanks, man... Jeez, guess Gerard's not the only Way gettin' emo right now, huh?"  
Frank heard Mikey sniffle again, before he heard a loud bang through the phone.  
"Huh-?"

It was Gerard falling off his bed, yelping in pain, "Holy - Did he fall?- Oh for Christ's- He's fallen over-"

Mikey stayed frozen, listening out, debating on going to help him, but then remembering how frail he was,  
"Just gimme a sec, Frank- I gotta go help him-"  
He set the phone down, jogging over to Gerard's door, his small rush of adrenaline taking over as he slammed the door open.  
"Gee?"   
He was lay on the floor, hissing in pain, crying for two differing reasons now.   
"Hmph- Go away- I do not want to talk to you-"  
Mikey looked at him, a little fed up, before just walking towards him, being sure to step over the broken glass in the doorway.  
"Wh- Mikey, I said-"  
"I don't care, I'll leave in a minute."  
Gerard stayed silent as Mikey hauled him up, only grumbling an annoyed "thank you" when he got on his feet.  
Mikey nodded, leaving, feeling an empty feeling in his stomach as he walked back towards his phone, talking again,  
"Jesus Christ, can you come here? Like, come and talk to him, because he's just not having it with me. He sounds super annoyed, wouldn't have been surprised if he socked me in the face for daring to help his sorry off the floor."  
Mikey sighed down the phone, as Frank began running, because although Mikey gave a brief description of the state Gerard was in, Mikey had a thing for always downplaying things, so at that moment Gerard could've been much, much more angry than Mikey was making out, he tried to throw a glass cup at Mikey's head, for god's sake.  
Basically, in the state Gerard was in, he was totally capable of being violent.   
"Stay on the line, Mikey, I'll be there A-S-A-P."  
He heard Gerard's door creak open, and he held his breath.  
Gerard called out his name, but it wasn't angry-sounding at all, it actually just sounded like normal Gerard, nasally, small, soft.  
"You in here? I just- I wanna talk to you."  
"Don't go near him, Mikey. If he hurts you, I don't care how sad he is, I'll leather him, I mean it."  
Gerard called out his name again, sounding even sadder, somehow.  
"Uh... Actually, Frank, I think I'll be fine, I'll see you in a minute-"  
"Mikey, don't hang up- are you kiddin' me-"

And then Mikey hung up, shoving his phone into his jean pocket and crawling out from under the stairs, "Uh, I'm over here."  
Gerard's eyes lit up a little, limping over to Mikey, and hugging him, beginning to cry again, "I'm sorry. I really, really didn't mean to like, flip out like that- I'm so sorry- Did like, the glass smash onto you?"  
"Uhm- No..."   
Mikey could literally feel his brothers rib-cage through his hoodie, and it was more than unsettling, he had gotten smaller, and the hoodie had gotten much, much baggier. He was actually thinner than Mikey at this point.  
Gerard nodded, "Good..."  
"You scared the hell out of me."  
"I know, I'm just- You know. I don't know what came over me.”  
Mikey looked Gerard up and down properly, his jaw dropping when he got to Gerard's feet.   
"G- Gerard, your foot..."  
Gerard looked down, and his jaw dropped as well, seeing blood all over the floor, all of it coming from his right foot, which, uncoincidentally, had a huge, deep gash on it from the broken glass on his bedroom floor he'd probably stepped on on his way out, "Oh my god, that's gnarly- How didn't I feel that?"  
Mikey giggled in disbelief, eyes wide in a mix of horror and amusement, "Dude, what the actual-?"  
"Uh- I really gotta fix that..."

All of a sudden there was a bang at the door, and Mikey looked towards Gerard, "Uhm, that's Frank."  
"Oh, uhm, why?"  
Mikey cursed, regretting calling Frank a little now, as he opened the front door to Frank, who looked the angriest he'd looked, and probably been, in ages. He didn't even greet Mikey, he just stormed in, pushing past Mikey, and towards Gerard.  
"I do not believe you- We are gonna have a talk, right now."  
Mikey shut the front door cautiously, not exactly wanting all the neighbors to hear the oncoming shouting match that was sure to happen.   
"Upstairs, Mikey, now."  
Frank demanded, and because Mikey also wanted to keep his jaw intact, he complied, scuffling up the stairs and sending his brother a sad look before he went out of view.  
"You are pushing it, Gerard, you are really, really pushing it."  
Gerard was completely speechless, and all of a sudden his foot began hurting like hell.  
"Uhm...Did Mikey tell you about the glass thi-"  
"Yes! Yes, Mikey did tell me about the glass 'thing', and I have half a mind to throw a glass at your head right now, see how you like it."   
Gerard sighed, pretty much regretting being born right then, "Listen, I said I'm sorry to him- I don't- I was just angry," He rubbed his face with hands, "I've never done that sort of thing before- I don't want to start doing that sort of thing-"   
"Sorry really doesn't solve anything, and you know it. He is trying to help you, and he might've chosen the wrong thing to do, but he is trying for you, which is more than you can say for yourself. Listen," Frank calmed down a little, figuring a lecture just wasn't the thing for this, "I get it, just don't- You need to control yourself, because this sorta outburst will just cause ten times more problems."

"I know, I know, I just- I really do not want to go back to that hospital. You saw how I was when I came out of there-"

"Well, it seems like you're reverting back to it now, actually."

Gerard nodded, "Yeah, thanks for that confidence boost, dude. I don't enjoy looking like this, ya know." he said, signalling to his torso, "Before, Mikey hugged me, and he literally gasped, and loosened his like, hug up. I know people notice it, but I don't know how to fix it." 

"Eat something, perhaps."

Gerard looked at him, with an expression which pretty much screamed, "Are you kidding me"  
"Frank." he stared into him, side eyeing a little.

"Gerard,"  
Frank mocked, wobbling his head, "You need to just- you gotta force yourself to, there is literally no other way, unless you wanna go back to the hospital?"

Gerard sighed, frustrated, about to cry for what seemed like the 1000th time that day.  
"I don't, I really don't. You know I don't. I really, really don't"  
Frank rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing, "So what are we going to do? I'll only help you if you help yourself, too. I wanna help you through this really bad, you know I do. I tried, failed, and then I gave up, and I'm so sorry for just giving up on you, you know I still beat myself up over that. You just need to like- help me help you." Frank began talking with his hands, like Gerard used to do, "I hate, hate, hate, seeing you in the absolute states you get yourself into. It hurts, and it really makes me angry because you could do so, so much with yourself, but you let this depression take complete hold of you, and I understand it's hard but you gotta fight it, you gotta take your meds, and you gotta take care of yourself, please..."


End file.
